Marriage - Part 3

Wives

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife

as Christ is the head of the church, his body,

of which He is the savior. Now as the church submits to Christ,

so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

Ephesians 5:22–24

We have seen in the previous episode that the husband yields himself to his wife in the same way that Jesus yielded Himself to the cross, for His beloved church. Now wives, you need to voluntarily yield yourselves in respect to your husband’s leadership in the home. Ladies, just as you have read in the previous episode about men needing to learn how to nourish you with love, you are to give him: “The Respect He Desperately Needs”, as on the cover of the book Love and Respect. This book will help you understand what this respect is and how to apply it. Paul ends Ephesians chapter five with: “… the wife must respect her husband.”

We read in the part 1 about Bob and Babette. Well Bob, after reading part 2, has decided that he needs to make some changes. He has started to sort out his own personal clothes, that which needs to go into the laundry, goes to the laundry bin and that which can go back into the cupboard, goes back into the cupboard. He has noticed how Babette is becoming more warming to him and is now looking for other opportunities to please her. Joe has had a heart-to-heart conversation with Flo and in this open discussion about how to find a solution for the cooking problem, she has suggested that since Joe's mother cooks really well, they will ask her if she would not mind giving both of them rudimentary cooking lessons. With that they have begun an amazing journey of cooking and laughing together.

Joyce Meyer talks openly about her battle in this area. She asked God to change her heart so that she could move into a place of giving unconditional love. I quote from her book – Reduce Me to Love: “Because Dave loved me unconditionally, he was willing to suffer with me while God was changing me.” “… most of those years I thought everyone had a problem but me.”

Ladies, I ask you; Why do you easily let your husband do the driving when you are travelling together or as a family? Ponder upon that question. Why is it that you are happy for him to take the lead in this area, but you want to lead in other areas?  This issue of submission must never be misconstrued as offering yourself as a slave or a martyr, you don't see yourself as a slave or servant when you travel together. Remember that your husband is yielding himself to you by following Jesus’ example of unconditional love. Men, I trust you are working on this.

As we saw with the husbands, imagine standing before God, and God asking you: “So, how well do you think you did in your role as being a helper for your husband?”

In Genesis 2:22–24, we see that God made a woman, using part of Adam, and Adam called her ‘woman, for she was taken out of man.’ Just before this we see God saying: “I will make a helper suitable for him” Genesis 2:18. This brings together a beautiful description of the relationship God intended between husband and wife.

Wives you may need to work such that all expenses are met. You may even enjoy working; you may even be in a managerial position. However, it is important that you switch to a non-leadership role when you are at home. Even when your husband makes a mistake, for surely, he will do so, do not take the reins.

With your heart expressing unconditional love towards your husband, which comes naturally to you, then respect and submission should not be a hard task for you. Ladies, you have been gifted with an amazing ability to provide support, nourishment, and encouragement to assist your marriage to flourish: it is called nurturing.

Please remember that your first love is to Jesus. The first command is this: “Love the Lord your God.” Your husband never replaces that position. When we love God unconditionally, following His principles is always a joy and not a burden.

Father, I ask that the ladies that read this will take it upon themselves to actively seek you and ask for your wisdom in how to submit to their husbands, as you would desire them to. Father, that they would not have the attitude of ‘I will submit and respect him only when I feel him loving me.’ Please give them the insight to see the beautiful picture that they are the gardeners of their garden called oneness in marriage.

Amen.